Harry Potter and the Search for Power
by Shoia
Summary: Post OotP - 6th year. Harry is having a hard time dealing with Sirius's death. But after an interesting experience, Harry realizes that death isn't the end. Training, animagi, and Voldemort, too! Suspended.
1. The Dream

Chapter 1 – The Dream

Harry Potter sat in his room, eyes staring blankly ahead. The once vivid green eyes were dulled with pain. Not physical pain, but emotional turmoil. For you see, Harry Potter was not an ordinary boy. Not by a long shot. He was a wizard. That alone was enough to single him out in his 'family' of Muggles, but Harry was not even an ordinary wizard. He was the Boy-Who-Lived, and had survived an attack by the most powerful dark lord of the time, Lord Voldemort. No one knew how, or why, but Harry had done it, and Lord Voldemort was left as nothing more than a spirit.

But now, Voldemort was back. He had been steadily gaining power and followers for a year now, while the public was ignorantly unaware of his return. But Harry knew better. He had seen Voldemort, just a week before, during his attempt to 'save' Sirius. But that had all been a trick. Harry was lured there, thinking his godfather was in danger. Voldemort had used Harry to get at a prophecy stashed in the Department of Mysteries at the Ministry of Magic, and in falling for the trap, he had brought his godfather there.

'If I hadn't been so stupid!', Harry berated himself for the millionth time. 'I had to go and 'play the hero', as Hermione put it. If I had just listened to her, Sirius might still be here…'

Harry had been having these thoughts over and over since the start of summer, when he had locked himself in his room and only came out to use the bathroom and get his meager meals. The Dursleys were all too happy with this arrangement, as they hardly had to see the boy. They treated him right and gave him slightly better meals than usual, but that was simply because of the threat of the Order coming to check on Harry every three days. Harry had written to them as promised, saying that everything was fine, and not to worry. He did ask them not to write to him for a while, as he needed to come to them on his own terms.

So that was how the days passed for Harry. But, a week into summer, something happened that changed Harry's demeanor for the better.

He had just finished his dinner when he began his ever-present train of thought concerning Sirius, always ending with the veil. He had been dreaming about it for some time now, always unable to catch Sirius as he fell through the veil, eyes wide with shock. He tried his best not to sleep at all, so as not to be plagued with the vivid dreams of Sirius and the veil. But tonight, he fell asleep much earlier than usual, around 11:00pm.

_Harry was standing in front of the veil at the Department of Mysteries, but Sirius was no where in sight. Harry figured out immediately that he must've already fallen through. There seemed to be voices coming from behind the veil, and they seemed to want him to join them. He walked slowly up the dais, as if in a trance, until he was standing right in front of the archway. The veil fluttered as if in a slight breeze, but there was no wind to speak of. _

_ Standing in front of the veil, Harry came to his senses a bit. He didn't want to just walk through, but he couldn't seem to move away from it either. So he settled on pushing the veil to see if there was some kind of opening. What he saw was not what he expected. _

_ Stretching out below him was a bottomless chasm. The sides were very steep, and it seemed to be incredibly deep, as all Harry could see was darkness at the bottom. He stood on the edge, looking around to see if there was any kind of relatively safe way down. Seeing none, he tried calling to Sirius._

_ "Sirius!" he shouted. His voice echoed a few times before there was silence. He stood there for a while, his heart going a mile a minute, before trying again. But before he could fill up his lungs all the way, he heard a very faint voice in the distance._

_ "Harry? Is that you?" Harry was completely floored that he recognized the voice, let alone heard someone answer. In his usual dreams, he had always felt a sense of loss afterwards, but the voice filled him with renewed hope._

_ "Sirius? What's going on?" he shouted back. He waited a moment, before he heard his godfather's voice return, excited and seemingly relieved. _

_ "Thank God I finally got to you! I've been trying to get you to come here forever, it seems!"_

_ By now Harry was completely confused, as he had no idea if this was really Sirius, or just a very cruel dream. "What do you mean you've gotten to me? I am dreaming, right?"_

_ "This is a dream Harry, but it's the only way I can talk to you without you actually, physically, coming in here as well."_

_ "But where is 'here', exactly?"_

_ "First, answer me this. What do you see?"_

_ Harry chanced another glance down the chasm, being careful not to fall in as well. "Well, it's like a huge gap that looks really deep. But that doesn't answer my question."_

_ "Right now you're in a dream world. That is how I can talk to you. The place I'm currently 'living' in is known as Purgatory. Living people aren't supposed to see Purgatory, because you can't have a body here."_

_ Harry had never really had a Christian or Catholic up-bringing, but he knew that purgatory was the limbo between Heaven and Hell. "What are you doing in Purgatory? …Does that mean you're really…dead?"_

_ "No Harry, technically, I am not completely dead."_

_ "What do you mean, 'not completely'?"_

_ "What I mean is, my body may be lost, but my soul is still here. I can't get out, because I don't have a body. Ghosts don't have bodies, I know, but before you even ask, I don't want to come back as a disembodied spirit."_

_ By this time Harry was getting excited, but before he actually believed what he was hearing, he needed to know something. "You mean you can actually come back?" Harry desperately needed this question answered, and he stood there, holding his breath and crossing his fingers._

_ "Yes Harry, but it's very difficult. You see, no one has ever come into Purgatory and gone back to Earth."_

_ Harry's hopes had soared when he heard Sirius say yes, but then he was sobered a bit by the fact that no one had ever done it. "I don't care how hard it is, I'll get you back, Sirius. You know I'll at least try. I've done the impossible before, anyway," he added with a little smirk._

_ "Harry, only animals can come and go here. They are treated like guardian angels, since they are well known for looking after their masters. The few evil creatures that there are can't die easily, and when they do, they don't go to Hell. From what I've heard here there is a different place for the animals, both magical and non-magical. Evil creatures don't have a choice as to what they do, and when they die, they are freed from their tasks."_

_ "Wait a minute. From what you've 'heard'? There are more people down there?" Right after Harry said that he realized how stupid it sounded._

_ "Of course there are others down here. Usually people that fell through the veil, like me, but some people are down here that didn't want to die, and are trying to find the way out. That's how ghosts come about."_

_ "Have you seen…?"_

_ "No Harry, your parents aren't down here. Trust me, I've looked for them. They probably went straight to Heaven when they died."_

_ Harry thought of this as good news and bad news: good because his parents must be finally happy together, no Dark Lord chasing them, but bad because he couldn't rescue them with Sirius. He went back to thinking about the topic of conversation before, regarding the animals. "I thought there was no such thing as an evil animal…" Harry mused out loud._

_ "Well, technically, there isn't. When I said 'evil animal', I meant animals that were bound to an evil person. When they die, they are free. But that's beside the point. What I'm trying to tell you is, you can't hope to rescue me without animal assistance."_

_ "And just how am I supposed to get that? Walk up to the next squirrel I see and ask it to help me?"_

_ "I can't give you the answer straight up. That's a rule here. But I can tell you this. It would be wise to follow in the Marauder's footsteps." As Sirius said this, his voice began to fade._

_ "Sirius! Wait!" Harry called desperately after Sirius's voice, but there was no answer. Harry felt the tug of consciousness pulling on his sleeping mind and he seemed to be soaring upwards, very fast._

Harry awoke with a start, sitting upright and panting for breath. He reached for his glasses on his nightstand, putting them on and realizing he was covered in cold sweat. He wondered why this was, because he usually only sweated when he had a particularly bad nightmare, but this dream…he couldn't remember all of it, but it had been very real. He did remember Sirius though, and that made his eyes water a bit. Thinking of Sirius always did this, but he swiped at the tears angrily, thinking about what Sirius had said instead.

'Follow in the Marauder's footsteps… What's that supposed to mean? How is becoming a prankster going to help me get Sirius back?' he thought to himself. He looked at the clock on the nightstand and saw that it was 4:31am. 'Wow," he thought. 'I slept longer than usual that time.'

Harry got up and walked over to the windowsill, standing beside Hedwig and looking out into the night. It was still dark, but not to the point where Harry couldn't see what was going on in the yard.

Birds were singing an early morning tune, and the wind was making the trees and the grass sway lightly. It was an entrancing site, but Harry had too much to think about to enjoy the beauty. His thoughts began to wander, thinking of other things that the Marauders had done. 'What had Sirius been talking about? Something to do with animals…' Then it hit him. He needed to become an animagus. That was what the Marauders had done. Animals could come and go into Purgatory and come back out, so if he could become an animal….

Harry began to pace around the room restlessly. He needed to reflect on what becoming an animagus meant. He'd probably have to do it with someone's help, more than likely Hermione's. Ron could join too, but that was his choice. He'd also need to tell an adult his plans, but he certainly wasn't going to run to Dumbledore anymore. He was sick of the Order always treating him like weapon, a child that needed to be protected. Sure, he did have to stay away from Voldemort until he could find out what the 'power the Dark Lord knows not' is, but in the mean time, why not try something that might give him the upper hand if (or more likely, when) he got into trouble? Maybe he could tell Professor Lupin…yes, that seemed like the right choice. After all, he had been there when Harry's father, Sirius, and Pettigrew had become animagi.

Harry went over to his nightstand and got out a piece of parchment and a quill. He began to write his letter to Hermione first, seeing as if Hermione didn't want to do it, he'd probably have a hard time.

_Dear Hermione,_

_How are you doing? I'm doing ok, considering…you know. But anyway, I need to ask you a question, and I need a reply as soon as possible. Will you be willing to become an animagus? I need to know as soon as possible, because I intend to try. I don't want to get started unless everyone that wants to do this is present. _

_I know by now you're probably having a fit at me suggesting something like this, but I need every advantage I can get. You know what I'm talking about. I'm going to write Ron a letter like this as well, and I need your replies as fast as possible. Please don't tell anyone about this letter, as I don't think Dumbledore or the Order will appreciate what I'm doing._

_I don't want your sympathy, and I don't want your reply to be about Sirius, and me blaming myself. I know it wasn't my fault, and something happened today that made me realize he's not as gone as I thought._

_Your friend, _

_Harry_

Harry wrote a similar letter to Ron, and then tied both letters to Hedwig's leg, who woke up grudgingly. "I need you to deliver these as fast as you can, ok girl?" he asked softly, so he didn't wake up the Dursleys.

As Harry watched Hedwig soar out into the early morning, he leaned on the window sill, breathing in the cool air. He had come to a decision as he wrote Hermione and Ron's letters. He wasn't going to just sit around and wait for Voldemort to come to him. Harry was going to do something to improve his fitness. He may not like the idea too much, but being fit could help him, even if he had to run away from something. He also needed, as much as he hated to admit it, to contact Dumbledore, but only to ask if he could move to Grimmauld Place for the summer. As much as Harry hated having to contact the man he deemed half responsible for Sirius's 'death', knowing that Sirius wasn't dead yet made it bearable to at least write him a letter.

With these thoughts in his head, Harry grabbed another piece of parchment to write a letter to Dumbledore for when Hedwig came.

_Dear Professor Dumbledore,_

_I would first like to apologize for the destruction of the things in your office. I hope you have been able to replace or fix everything that I broke. _

_I'm writing to you to ask permission to go back to __Grimmauld Place__ earlier this summer. I have nothing to do over here, and I need to keep my mind off of…certain things. Please let me know when the Order will be picking me up._

_Signed,_

_Harry_

Harry set the letter on the nightstand, leaving it there for Hedwig. He thought about telling Dumbledore about the dream Sirius had made him experience, but he decided that he wanted to keep that to himself. He would definitely tell Hermione and Ron, because that would give them a reason to become animagi. He was going to ask Lupin to guide them, telling him that they wanted to do this for him. If he consented, then Harry might tell him the real reason.

Harry looked at the clock again and saw that it was now 6:00. Yawning, he got up and went to the bathroom, deciding not to take a shower, because if he did what he wanted to do, he'd probably be sweaty and need one later.

_A/N: Well, there it is: the first chapter of my first fanfiction. I hope you enjoy, and please review. I could use constructive criticism, and flames are not welcome. I am sorta making this up as I go along, though I do have some ideas that I want in the story. If you have any suggestions that aren't overly-used, I'd be happy to see if I like them, and/or if I can fit them into my story. See you next time! Yugioh/Potter/Pokemon fanatic_


	2. Plans and the Visit

Chapter 2 – Plans and the Visit

Harry headed downstairs for breakfast, seeming cheerful even though he'd had very little sleep. He figured that if he was to start running and exercising, he'd be too worn-out to have nightmares, and he might finally get some decent shut-eye. He wolfed down his food and put the dishes in the sink before heading outside. But before he got to the door, he heard Uncle Vernon calling him.

"Where are you going, boy?" he asked with his eyes narrowed.

"I'm just going outside, why? Is that forbidden? 'Cause I could always tell the Order that you won't even let me out of the house…" Harry let the implications of what that meant sink in for a second, then strolled out the door, shutting it behind him.

He had planned to run every morning before doing some simple exercises. There wasn't much that he could do around the house that could get him into shape, so he decided to work on his lungs and legs for now, just by running. The first day he could only jog about two times around the block before collapsing in number 4's yard, but he was surprised that he'd made it that far because of his skinny and small stature. Plus, he was weak and weary from not enough sleep, but he hoped that running would make him too worn-out to dream.

The next day, Pig flew into Harry's window, waking him up at 5:30. "Bloody hell Pig, can't you wait a minute?" Harry groaned in bed and sat up, groping for his glasses on his nightstand. When he put them on, he saw Pig trying to hover outside the window, flying into the glass repeatedly in the process. "Hang on, don't knock yourself out, you stupid bird!" Harry ran over to the window and yanked it open, and Pig flew in and started twittering loudly. Harry snatched the annoying bird out of the air, and stuffed him into Hedwig's cage to wait for Harry's reply. He sat down on the bed and read the letter Ron had sent him.

_Harry,_

_How you doin' mate? I won't even ask you to elaborate on your feelings, that's Hermione's job, but please know that you're not alone. We've (that is, me and Hermione) been moved to you-know-where, the place with the screaming painting in the hall. It's really boring here, and all we ever do is clean and do homework. Hermione won't stop badgering us! It's annoying as hell!_

_About your 'request', consider me in. I've always wanted to do something like that, but you suggesting it makes it all the better. What are we going to tell the adults though? I won't tell anyone if you don't want me to, but do you really think we should do this unsupervised? I mean, I know Hermione's smart and all that, but it's really hard to become animagi. I'll do whatever you want, though. _

_I hope your letter to Dumbledore goes well, let me know when you're coming. _

_Your friend, _

_Ron_

Harry set the letter down and began to write a reply, simply to answer some of Ron's questions. He wanted his friends to be in on this achievement, and he needed them more than he realized.

_Ron,_

_I know you are all worried, but please, don't. I'm fine, honestly. Something happened a couple of days ago that made me think. I'm sick of being babied and I don't want to be a burden on anyone. I am a person, not a weapon. I have something really important I need to tell you though, but it'll have to wait until I see you and Hermione in person. _

_Don't worry though. I do plan on telling at least one adult. I want to tell Professor Lupin, but that's only if he says yes to helping me. _

_I haven't sent my letter to Dumbledore yet, but I'll let you know as soon as I get a reply. Don't let Hermione and work get you down. See you soon._

_Your friend,_

_Harry_

Harry took Pig out of Hedwig's cage, tying the letter to his leg with difficulty. He then threw Pig out the window and watched him tumble in the air for a minute before regaining his balance. Harry checked the clock and saw that it was now 6:05. He stifled a yawn and headed for the bathroom. After he washed up a bit, he headed downstairs to find an empty house. 'The Dursleys must not be up yet' Harry thought. Oh well, the less he had to see them, the happier he'd be. He went to the fridge to make himself breakfast, making a large meal. He knew he'd probably get in trouble, but he figured that the more upset the Dursleys were, the more willing they'd be to get rid of him. After he ate, he walked outside and began to stretch. His legs were a bit sore from yesterday, but that wasn't going to stop him from running.

After two blocks around again, he collapsed in the yard, panting for breath. He was more tired than yesterday, but at least he had done the same as before and not less.

Once he'd done some warm down stretches, he headed back inside to find Hedwig waiting for him on his bed, a letter from Hermione attached. "Thanks, girl," he stroked Hedwig and removed the letter, and then she flew over to her cage and drank some water. Harry opened Hermione's letter, anxious to see if she'd agreed.

_Harry,_

_I had a feeling you'd ask me something like that. I just want you to know, I'm behind you all the way. I am a little concerned by your plea not to tell any of the adults, and I hope you change your mind about that after a while._

_I'll do what you asked and not write a lot of 'sympathy', but I just want to say this: no matter what happens, Ron and I will always be there for you. I hope you write to Dumbledore and get permission to come here, you know where I'm talking about. It's down-right dreary without Padfoot around, but I just keep doing homework and cleaning to keep my mind off things. I'll see you soon._

_Love,_

_Hermione_

Harry sat there after he read the letter. It seemed that Hermione didn't have too many questions, so he thought that a reply wasn't needed. Besides, he needed Hedwig to deliver that letter he wrote to Dumbledore. With that in mind, he retrieved the letter from his desk and tied it to Hedwig's leg. "Sorry to send you out so soon girl, but I want to get this to the headmaster fast. I want to get out of here." Hedwig nipped his finger in an affectionate way and soared out the window into the afternoon.

Four days later, with hardly any change in what had become his routine, someone paid Harry a visit. During breakfast, there was a knock at the door. Uncle Vernon got up to answer it, but came sulking back, red-faced. "It's one of your…friends," he said, pointing at the door.

Harry got up and headed for the door, wondering who it was. He thought that anyone that came would do so with some kind of notice. Maybe they wanted to check up on him. When he got to the door, he was pleasantly surprised to see Remus Lupin, the last of the Marauders. "Professor Lupin! What are you doing here?" he asked, smiling at the man standing outside. He had forgotten that Lupin was probably grieving over Sirius, too.

"Ah, well, Dumbledore thought that instead of replying to your letter, he would just take you out of there now," Lupin replied, smiling back at Harry. He noticed that he seemed to have gotten over Sirius, and was worried if that was just a façade to not make the Order worry. "Is your trunk packed?"

Harry was really astonished that Dumbledore had replied to his letter in this way. He thought that he'd at least have to put up a fight to get away from the Dursleys, but thanked the stars that he was leaving so soon. "No, I had no idea that you were coming, so everything is still unpacked. Let me pack my trunk up again really quick."

"Do you mind if I go up with you?" Lupin asked Harry, seeming nervous. Harry didn't know why this was, as they were very close before…oh. He wanted to talk about Sirius.

"Ok, sure. It's a mess though," he said, grinning. He led Lupin up to his room, motioning to the mess that was books and more books, scattered all over the floor.

"Well," Lupin started, looking around the room. "I see you've been keeping busy." Harry smiled slightly at him, knowing what he meant.

"Yeah, I hardly ever left time for myself to think. How have you been holding up?" Harry asked this last question to direct the attention somewhere besides him, but also because he was worried that Lupin hadn't talked about Sirius since…that day. He found that it didn't do good to keep it bottled up, and that's probably what Lupin had been doing.

"I've seen…better days. Plus the full moon was just a few days ago, and it's the first one I've had to spend alone…" Lupin was looking anywhere other than Harry's face, but Harry could still see the pain in his eyes.

"Professor…"

"Please, just call me Remus. I'm not your professor right now."

"Well, I wanted to talk to you about something. I need your…well, I was going to say 'permission', but if you don't approve of this, I'm going to do it anyway…"

"Spit it out, Harry," Lupin was getting anxious because it seemed that this had something to do with Sirius.

"I wanted to know if you would consent, maybe even help, me, Ron, and Hermione become animagi."

There was silence in the room for some time, as Remus had staggered over to the bed and sat down, gawking at Harry. He was thrilled that Harry actually wanted to follow in the Marauder's footsteps, but he wondered what had made Harry actually come to the final decision. When he asked this aloud, he got an answer he didn't expect.

"I wanted to be able to help you. I know now that you're alone when you transform, even if you are harmless, but that's something I wouldn't wish on my worst enemies." Harry had wanted to tell Remus about his dream, but decided that he would keep that to himself until Remus said yes.

"Are you sure that's why, Harry? I'd be willing to help you even if you hadn't given me a reason, you know." Remus watched Harry intently as he said this, smelling for any signs of sweat or nervousness, signs of lying.

"Well…" Harry knew that Remus had heightened senses, and could tell if he was telling the truth or not. So Harry settled with the truth. "I don't really want to tell you right now. I can't tell you unless you say yes."

Remus could, indeed, tell that this was the truth, but he wondered what it was that pushed Harry to want to become an animagus, and if it had anything to do with Sirius. "Ok, I'll help you. Not just to find out why, but for you. You really seem to want to do this, so I'll help you. But now can you tell me?"

Harry really didn't want to keep the dream to himself any longer, so he told Remus any and every detail he could remember. From the deep chasm, to the information about Purgatory and the fact that only animals could come and go there, Harry left out nothing. "That's why I want to become an animagus, Remus. I want to get Sirius out of there."

Remus just sat there, hardly believing what he was hearing. He wanted to believe, he really did, but what if it was just a dream? Remus didn't want to get his hopes up, and then get shot down again when they found out that Sirius really couldn't be saved. When Remus voiced these concerns to Harry, he simply shook his head.

"That's why I have more than one reason to become an animagus. Don't deny that it's been difficult without Sirius there when you transform. I want to do this for you, too." Harry had been standing and pacing throughout this whole conversation, but when he said this, he sat down on his desk chair. "I at least have one solid reason to do this, and nothing is going to stop me."

Remus really couldn't say no, and with Harry's confident speech, he was filled with renewed hope. "You have no idea how much you are like your father, Harry," he said, smiling at the boy he had come to see as James. Harry returned the smile, and seeing that the conversation was over, got up and started throwing his books into his trunk, pell-mell. Once Remus had calmed down a bit, he noticed what Harry was doing. "Why are you packing like that, Harry?"

Harry stopped and looked at Remus, confused. "I am leaving now, right?" he asked, hoping there hadn't been a mistake somewhere.

"Of course you are, but wouldn't this…" he waved his wand and all his books and clothes flew into the trunk, "…be much easier?" Harry stared at the full but messy trunk for a second before stating "It's perfect, can we go now?"

Remus chuckled a bit at Harry's impatience. "Ok, grab a hold," he stated, holding out a Sickle. "Portus" he muttered, pointing his wand at the coin. It shone blue for a moment before returning to normal. "Ready? Three, two, one…" Then Harry felt the familiar tug behind his navel, pulling him to Grimmauld Place.

_A/N: Well, there it is: the second installment in my story. I'll make replies to reviews in the author notes, but I'll only reply to reviews that ask questions. I'll thank everyone in advance for reviewing, and I'll update as soon as possible. Thanks to _saxistwriterchick_, my first reviewer! By the way, the more reviews I get, the faster I'll try and update. Can't make any promises of course. I want to enjoy my summer, as well._


	3. The Return

Chapter 3 – The Return

After what seemed like an eternity, Harry's feet his solid ground. He stumbled for a second until Remus helped him stay upright. Glancing at Remus and giving him a 'thank you' smile, he turned to look at where they had just Portkeyed.

They were in the entrance hall of 12 Grimmauld Place, standing near the door. Harry caught a glimpse of the doorway to the kitchens, before his vision was obscured by bushy brown hair. "Oh, Harry, thank God you're alright!" Hermione shrieked from the region of Harry's shoulder

"Hermione, let him go, he can't breathe!" Ron said, standing behind Hermione.

"It's ok Hermione. What could've happened that would've put me in danger? I just portkeyed here from the Dursleys'." Harry tried to placate Hermione, patting her back awkwardly. She moved away from him, seeming almost in tears.

"I was just so worried about…well; you know…how you would…cope." She seemed reluctant to speak of what was really worrying her.

"Hermione, I'm fine," Harry saw her disbelieving look and continued. "I…well, I'm not totally fine. But I am better than, say, a week ago."

This seemed to be enough for Hermione. "Hey, don't forget about me now." Ron, who was still standing behind her, poked his head around her body, smiling.

"Hey Ron, how's it going?" Harry and Ron shared a hand shake, grinning all the while.

"Not too bad, now that you're here. Maybe you can save me from Hermione's homework sessions."

"Ah, I don't know about that one mate. When it comes to homework, she isn't stopped." Harry said with a smirk.

"Hey! I'm right here, you know!" Hermione said, her hands on her hip and a grin on her face. "I'm not a complete bookworm."

Harry and Ron shared grins before saying "Yes you are" at the same time. All three of them burst out laughing at this, albeit reluctantly for Hermione.

"Well, I'd hate to break up such an interesting reunion, but there's going to be an Order meeting in a few minutes, and I can't be late. Run up to your room now, and Harry, it's the same as last time." With that, Remus headed into the kitchens and closed the door behind him.

Harry stood there for a moment, slightly angry by the fact that he was still excluded from Order meetings. He headed upstairs to his and Ron's room, getting a bit depressed, but resolving to tell his friends about the prophecy and the dream soon.

In all the excitement concerning Sirius, he had almost forgotten about it. But now that Harry had a plan for Sirius, his thoughts returned to the prophecy. He had thought that, being the one the prophecy concerned, Dumbledore would at least let him in the meetings. But Harry should've known that Dumbledore would still try and 'protect' him. As Harry headed up to his and Ron's room, he made a mental promise to himself to start doing things his way, even if it went against what Dumbledore wanted.

Following Harry up the stairs, Ron and Hermione shared a look of concern at the sudden change in behavior of their friend. When Lupin had mentioned the Order meeting, Harry had had an angry glint in his eyes which changed to one of sadness as he headed upstairs. Hermione thought that Harry was upset at the fact that they weren't allowed in the meetings, but she thought that he understood why, considering they were banned last year, too.

When Harry reached the landing that led to their rooms, he said urgently, "I need to talk to you guys for a minute." Ron and Hermione had been following him upstairs slowly, but stopped at seeing the look in Harry's eyes. They were almost burning with intensity, not unlike Dumbledore's eyes when he was angry. Ron and Hermione simply nodded and followed Harry into his and Ron's room. Shutting the door behind him, Harry turned to face his best friends.

"I know you guys think I was overreacting just now downstairs, when I got a bit huffy at not being let into the Order meeting," he stated. Ron and Hermione both looked slightly abashed, but Hermione was first to regain her composure.

"Well Harry, you knew we weren't allowed into the meetings last year. What's supposed to have changed their minds to let us in now?" Hermione had a sinking feeling that she was about to find out.

"What I am about to tell you only two people know as of right now. Do you remember the prophecy that got smashed in the…the Department of Mysteries?" Even thinking about that stupid place made Harry want to break something. 'Not the time' he thought to himself.

Both Ron and Hermione nodded their heads, and Ron said, "But Harry, we know it was smashed and no heard it. You told us that at the end of last year."

Harry didn't know what was making him do it, but he didn't want to have to deal with the burden alone. He had to tell someone. Otherwise, it would eat at him from the inside, especially trying to keep it from his friends…no, he had to tell them. "Well…it was smashed that night, but the…the person that actually heard it in the first place…well, we know him."

Ron and Hermione were both listening with interest now, obviously not up for guessing games. "Why are you so nervous talking about this Harry?" Hermione whispered subconsciously. "It has to do with you, doesn't it?"

'Trust Hermione to hit the thing on the head…' "Yes Hermione, it's all about me. The whole thing was heard by none other than our own headmaster, and he finally told it to me after I got back from the Department of Mysteries. This is what I remember: _The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord approaches…. Born to those who have thrice defied him, born as the seventh month dies…and the Dark Lord will mark him as his equal, but he will have powers the Dark Lord knows not…_" Harry faltered here, as this was the part that he had been dwelling on since he had heard it. "_and__ either must die at the hands of the other for neither can live while the other survives…_"

The room was completely silent, just as it was when Harry had first heard it in Dumbledore's office. Then Hermione spoke up, "But Divination is such an obscure branch of magic, you can't trust that." Ron was just sitting there, seemingly deep in thought, or too stunned to think, either one.

"Don't you get it Hermione?! It means me!" Harry had just stood there, waiting for the blow to fall, but Hermione's answer was not what he wanted to hear. "You weren't there when Trelawney said it. It was a _real_ prediction. I know." Harry stopped here. "Did I ever tell you about the other prediction I heard her make?" Both of them shook their heads 'no'. "It was during our third year finals. She had just dismissed me, but then I heard her say 'It will happen tonight'. It didn't sound like her voice though. She went all…rigid, and seemed to be in a trance. Then she seemed to wake up and didn't remember a thing."

"But what was that prediction, Harry?" Ron asked. He remember that Harry was about to tell them something when he got back to the portrait hole from his Divination final, but he hadn't finished what he was going to say because of Hagrid's letter.

"It was a prophecy predicting the rebirth of Voldemort. And I helped it along…when I didn't let Remus and…and Sirius kill Pettigrew." Harry had already had a talk with Dumbledore about this, but he still couldn't help but feel like it was his fault. His fault that Voldemort had come back full strength. His fault that Cedric and Sirius were dead. But before Harry could get very far down that train of thought, Ron spoke.

"But…doesn't that prophecy…the one that Dumbledore told you, I mean…does it have to mean you?" Ron and Hermione both wanted to know this answer, but already knew in their hearts.

"Yes. It could've been either me…or Neville. But I was 'marked as his equal' when he gave me this," Harry moved his bangs back and pointed at his scar. "I was so…I don't even know if there's a word for it. I just…felt like everything was centered on me. I went through all the actions, but I wasn't really there. I just…I had to tell someone." Harry now looked at Ron and Hermione, pleading them silently not to give him pity. He hated pity. Pity was for cowards. And Harry was not a coward.

Ron and Hermione were both speechless at the time. They knew Voldemort always had it in for Harry, and he always seemed to get at Harry once every year. The only exception was third year, but then there were the dementors. They always wondered why it had to be Harry. Now that there was evidence of a prophecy, it just made it seem more real. "So Harry," Ron started. "Does that prophecy thing mean that…either you have to kill You-Know-Who, or he has to kill you?"

Harry gulped audibly at this, and his eyes became a bit distant. "Yes Ron. It has to be me…or no one. But there is a tiny bright side." His friends looked at him like he was crazy. Who could find a bright side about having to kill or be killed by the most feared dark wizard of our time? "It doesn't say that I'll die for sure. I mean, I don't…it doesn't say that we both must die, does it?"

"Of course not Harry," Hermione stated. "But how can anyone expect a…a fifteen-going-on-sixteen year old to defeat You-Know-Who? I mean, Dumbledore…"

"Has absolutely no say in this," Harry finished Hermione's sentence. He didn't need a lecture about how powerful Dumbledore was. No, he'd seen that up close. "I know it sounds ridiculous, but what about the 'power the Dark Lord knows not'? I need to find it, that's what." Ron and Hermione had rarely seen Harry this fired up, and when they did, it usually ended up with someone getting yelled at or them being dragged into another crazy adventure.

"The only way I'm going to be able to do that is by training; training hard. But I need your help."

"What do you need our help for, Harry?" Hermione sounded hesitant, if not downright scared.

"I need you to help me practice. It'd be good for all of us. We could all train. Voldemort won't leave you guys alone either, you know. Just for being my friends you put yourselves in danger." Ron and Hermione made to protest, but Harry held up his hands to silence them. "It's true. Look at what happens to every person I love or care for. They end up dead. But that's not going to happen any more." Harry said this last bit with such intensity Ron and Hermione unconsciously scooted back on the beds.

"Well, you're not doing all this without me," Ginny said, standing in the now open door.

"Ginny! I forgot…I mean, I didn't know you were here," Harry muttered sheepishly.

"Oh, don't worry Harry," she said seemingly off-handedly. "I'm used to being ignored."

"Ouch Harry. She got you there," Ron said slyly. "But of course we wouldn't let you train alone. It could be helpful, with all this stuff happening…"

"What, do you know something about Voldemort's doings?" Harry said urgently. He knew that Ron and Hermione were being left out of the Order meetings, but that didn't include using Fred and George's inventions to spy on them.

"Oh, we don't know anything, trust me," Hermione stated. "We just know that You-Know-Who is out there and he's started killing Muggles again, seemingly just for 'fun'."

Harry had heard enough. He just wanted to get away now. He loved his friends and all, but sometimes they could be a bit…stifling. Plus he had just revealed his deepest secret to them. He needed to give them (and himself) time to think. "Well, when the Order meeting's over, could you come and find me? I want to…walk around for a bit."

"You sure, mate?" Ron asked, looking at his friend with concern. He didn't want Harry to shut himself off from them. It wasn't good for anyone's health.

"Yeah, I'm just gonna walk around the house for a bit. I…I just want to be alone for a little while. I'm not going to shut you out, mate, don't worry," he added with a grin. "I know I need my friends right now." And with that, he exited the room and left behind a very relieved Ron and Ginny, and a thoughtful Hermione.


	4. The Start of the Plans

Chapter 4 – The Start of the Plans

Harry walked aimlessly for a bit, letting his feet carry him where they wished. He had wanted to just walk around the place where Sirius had lived for quite a while since he had seen Sirius in that dream. He realized that, as a dark wizard home, it was bound to have a few secrets. Dumbledore probably knew them all, but still, it would be cool to search out the secret passages or rooms.

'Secret rooms…hmm…that's just what I need….' Harry thought as he walked slowly onto the first floor landing. He didn't want to wake the portrait of Mrs. Black, but he had always wondered why the painting was there. Was she guarding something? More than likely. Mad-Eye Moody had probably already seen into all the rooms to determine what was in each of them, but Harry wondered if there were charms that could fool even Mad-Eye's eye.

"Ah, Harry, there you are. I was just coming up to get you for dinner, dear. The meeting's over." Mrs. Weasley came out of the kitchen, smiling slightly at Harry, then walked quietly upstairs saying, "I'll just go and get Ron, Ginny and Hermione. Go on into the kitchen."

As Harry walked into the kitchen, he noted that, like one previous time he had came in as an Order meeting came to a close, there were maps of some sort on the table. But unlike before, no one made a move to stop Harry from looking at them. "What's this?" he asked, coming to stand next to Bill and Mr. Weasley, the only other people in the room.

"Oh, it's a sort of blue-print of the Hogwarts grounds. Well, more precisely, the wards ands such which surround the Hogwarts grounds. We're trying to find any little faults in the security system." Bill replied, scanning the map carefully. Harry was surprised that they hadn't made a move to keep the map out of sight.

"Is Remus going to help with the inspection?" Harry asked trying to be innocent, knowing the extensive knowledge he had gained of the grounds with the Marauder's help.

"Oh, yeah, Dumbledore told us about how he had discovered all those little secrets and such walking the grounds with your father and Sirius," Mr. Weasley looked up at Harry as he said this, something akin to pride in his eyes. "Your father must have been an excellent student, to become an animagus in only his fifth year."

"Uh…yeah, right," Harry was getting quite uncomfortable with this discussion, and desperately wanted to get out of the room before they started up a conversation, like asking about the animagus transformation. That was sure to rouse suspicion if Harry knew too much. "Umm…I think I'll go wait in the…uh…living room," he said, edging out of the room slowly. He didn't have to worry though, because at that minute, Mrs. Weasley came back into the kitchen with Ron, Hermione, and Ginny.

"Arthur, Bill, clean up those papers right now. You know about leaving stuff out after the Order meetings!" She bustled over to the stove to take out the dinner, waving her wand to make the plates and cutlery set themselves on the table. She didn't seem to have noticed Bill and Mr. Weasley's eye-rolling, or it probably would've made her yell some more.

"Honestly Mum, it's just the Hogwarts Grounds blueprint," said Bill, shaking his head at his mother's behavior, but gathering up the scrolls nonetheless. "It's not like it's a big secret, what we're working on. I bet Dumbledore will tell the students about the new security at the start of term feast, anyway."

"New security?" inquired Hermione. "What's wrong with the school's security?"

"Well, that's what--" Mr. Weasley started, but Mrs. Weasley was done with whatever she was doing at the stove, and unfortunately caught Hermione asking about the plans.

"Don't you dare tell them anything Arthur! You know they're too young to know about the Order business!"

During this conversation Harry had remained quiet, watching the reactions his friends and the adults. He had expected to be kept out of the meetings and kept in the dark about the plans of the Order, but as he listened to the little argument, he realized that there was a lot of information that was kept from them unnecessarily. 'I mean, what harm could it do to know about the plans for the defense?' he thought. It seemed as if they were keeping the information a secret just to satisfy Mrs. Weasley, which meant they'd never get an inkling of the plans. 'I think I need to have another chat with Dumbledore…'

"It's alright Mrs. Weasley. We won't ask about the Order anymore," Harry said, giving his friends a meaningful glance as he sat down at the table. They looked bewildered and shocked, but when they caught Harry's glance, they knew something was up. They nodded to Mrs. Weasley and took their seats around Harry.

Mrs. Weasley was obviously stunned by their lack of struggle, but recovered herself quickly. "Well, that's good because it's not right for children to have to participate in a war." Harry visibly bristled at this comment, but refrained from speaking. 'There she goes, calling us children again…' he thought.

Dinner was almost a silent affair, except for the conversations between the adults, which Harry paid little or no attention to. The four teenagers at the table were silent, three of them wondering about what the fourth was thinking. Harry was trying to come up with a way to talk to Dumbledore without the other adults thinking he wanted to talk about the Order. He also hadn't forgotten about his training, but first he had to find a place. The Room of Requirement had been an awesome room to practice in, but it just had the slight problem of it being at Hogwarts while they were here at Grimmauld Place. No, he needed somewhere to practice here. But the first issue on his mind was the Order. Finally, an idea began to form in his head.

"Mr. Weasley?" he said, "Is Professor Dumbledore going to be at headquarters anytime soon? I need to ask him something." All three of the other students in the room perked their heads up at this question, as well as the adults.

"What do you need to ask the headmaster about, Harry? I'm sure I can just pass on a message to him," said Mr. Weasley, sending a wary glance at his wife, who thought she knew what this was about.

"I needed to ask him about my Occlumency lessons," Harry said firmly. "Could you do that for me?"

Ron, Hermione, and Ginny all openly gaped at him. They thought he had hated those lessons! The three adults were thinking along those same lines, but Mrs. Weasley couldn't help but let out a barely perceptible, yet relieved, sigh. She had evidently thought that Harry wanted to talk about joining the Order. "Of course, Harry. I'll try to get to him within the week, but he is very busy with the modifying of the school's wards." Mr. Weasley was also clearly relieved, but eyed Harry suspiciously.

"Thank you," Harry said, as he got up and put his plates in the sink. He hoped that the others would follow him, and wasn't mistaken when they too cleaned up their plates. "I'm gonna head up to bed a bit early," he said, heading out the kitchen door. Ron, Hermione and Ginny all followed him up to his room, obviously planning on demanding an explanation.

When they reached Harry and Ron's room, they all filed inside, and Harry shut the door after them. He started to talk, but stopped and seemed to think for a moment, before grabbing the portrait of Phineas Nigellus and tossing it out the door. "What was that for?" Hermione asked in an amused voice.

"I don't was Phineas spying on me for Dumbledore," Harry replied, looking around the bedroom for any more portraits. He didn't see any, so he looked pointedly at Ginny, and, somehow, she got the hint. Sighing, she said "I'll be waiting for you in the bedroom, Hermione." After Ginny left, Harry closed the door and sat down. He began his explanation of why he asked about Occlumency lessons. "Listen, do you remember that one time I came back from an Occlumency lesson early? Then I told you that Snape reckoned I could just practice on my own?" At his friends' nods, he continued. "Well…I had actually made him so mad that he…uh…kicked me out of his office," he finished lamely.

Everyone, even Hermione, was silent at this statement. "But Harry," she said, breaking the silence, "What in the world could you have done to--"

"Please, don't even ask Hermione. I'll tell you later maybe," Harry looked at his friends with pleading eyes, begging them to understand. She simply nodded, conceding. "Anyway, he wasn't all that great of a teacher. I wanted Dumbledore to teach me instead. After what happened last month…" he paused with a stricken look in his eyes. "I just don't want it to occur again."

"I also want to confirm our plans to train with Dumbledore," Harry said. "I know it'd be cool to do it alone, but, being reasonable, it'd be a lot easier if we had a teacher's help."

"So, let me get this straight," Ron said. "We're going to ask Dumbledore to give us…more homework?"

"Oh Ron, this is more important than homework," Hermione said. "Like Harry said last year, we need to be prepared for what's out there."

"It'll be more like the DA, but with a teacher instructor," Harry said swiftly, interrupting one of Ron and Hermione's arguments. "Of course, we don't have to do the animagus transformation by ourselves. I told Remus about it, and he agreed to help. Do you know how to do it, Hermione?"

"Ooh Harry, it's really, really difficult. I…I don't know if even I could brew it," she stammered.

"Oh, bloody hell," Ron said softly. "Our Hermione, admitting she can't do something? What has the world come to…?"

"I didn't say I couldn't do it, Ron," she said indignantly.

"How do we do it, anyway? It's a potion?" Harry asked, interrupting yet another impending verbal fight.

"Yes, it's very hard to do, because it takes the better part of a year to complete. It's mostly the reason why there are so few animagi," she said, going in to lecture mode. "The only book I've come across with the Animagean Potion in it is 'Moste Potente Potions'."

"Drat. Now we're gonna need a teacher's permission…" Ron said sulkily.

"Well, I could just ask Professor Dumbledore," Harry said. "I mean, he knows the prophecy. I'll just tell him I'm doing it to give me any edge I can in the fight."

"Well, if Remus knows, we could ask him about it first," Hermione suggested.

"Good thinking, Hermione," Harry said. "I needed to talk to him anyway."

They sat in silence for a while, not a tense silence, but a comfortable one. Ron and Hermione were, unconsciously, thinking of the same thing: what their animagus forms would be. Harry, on the other hand, was thinking about Sirius. He wasn't blaming himself, or feeling guilty; he was thinking about all the times he had seen him happy. There had been so few, he realized. Christmas was the one that stood out the most. Sirius had been so happy, his mood had been contagious. Harry smiled as he remembered Sirius's voice singing 'God Rest You, Merrye Hippogriffs'.

Hermione seemed to be quite tired. Yawning widely, she said, "Well, I think I'm going to bed now."

"Yeah, let's go Hermione. Good night guys," she said, waving to the boys on her way out.

Harry and Ron climbed into their respective beds, but before Harry had even gotten his pajamas on, Hermione's voice came from the hall. "Don't forget about this portrait, Harry!"

"Oh yeah! Phineas!" Harry scrambled out of bed and hung the portrait back up. Apparently, Phineas hadn't paid them a visit. He must not have even known his portrait was off the wall. Harry climbed into bed, bid Ron goodnight, and fell asleep.

_A/N: Well, it took me a while to get this one out, but I had to straighten out a few things first. Sorry I didn't reply to the review(s) from last chapter. I completely forgot to put an author's note! Special thanks to Crimsonphoenix1 for inspiring me to get this chapter out sooner! Now, as for the other reviews…_

_Crimsonphoenix1: Thanks for the review! I already have an idea for the animagi for the trio. I was thinking….Ah, you'll have to wait and see. But I do love Harry as a phoenix. It's my favorite. _

_sillyseal__: Thanks for the review!_

_saxistwriterchick__: Thanks for the review!_

_ Anyway, next chapter: Harry's talk with Dumbledore and Remus! I wonder what Remus has planned to help Harry…. Oh, one question. Did I spell 'Moste Potente Potions' right? Tell me in a review. Thanks again!_


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